He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
