well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize