party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
