I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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