Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
