We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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