i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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