For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
