Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
