Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
