Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I didn't notice because vodka
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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