wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
