I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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