what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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