are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
