either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
