You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
