it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
