I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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