Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
