I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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