I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
