took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
