Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
