oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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