Need sex. Gaining weight.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
