I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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