Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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