I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
