People in love make me want to vomit
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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