i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
