forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just tell him i said nine months
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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