I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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