i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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