i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
