lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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