I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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