just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
