I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
