YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You're a waste of cheezeits
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
