I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize