you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
