I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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