...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize