I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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