Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
