and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
