well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
