Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize