Yo dont text me then not text me
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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