"it" just moved
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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