he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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