That's intense
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
