My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
