am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
