did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
