No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
